Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
