I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
