is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
