Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
