It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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