she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
