people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No subtext here. People are naked.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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