So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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