Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
