You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
