I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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