good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
