I want to stick my p in your. b.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
