guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
