she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Randomize
