This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
