I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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