did you get engaged???
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
