we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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