even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
So. Much. Porn.
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