why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
