I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
