I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize