Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Can I color on your dick again?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
