I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
how does that bad decision feel?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
