p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize