Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
