How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize