Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
