I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
