just come out here and I will go home with you...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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