Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
