Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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