I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
