I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You dont lie about slip and slides
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
