why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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