I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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