When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
