You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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