i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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