we're chasing vodka with high fives
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
