the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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