Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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