i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
