I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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