My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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