Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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