it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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