...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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