how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
