Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
