I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Houston, we have a blender
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
