We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you win again, gameday.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
