I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize