then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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