For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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