If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
