You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
