I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
