Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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