Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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