She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
