Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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