is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize